Rasheed Wallace invented algorithmic stock trading.
Rasheed Wallace told Greece to keep borrowing money and not worry about paying it back later.
Rasheed Wallace caused the destruction of Pompei because Mt. Vesuvius was a Celtics fan and was forced to watch Rasheed play basketball.
Rasheed Wallace told Napoleon to attack Russia in the winter.

Rasheed Wallace made Time Warner sell out to AOL.

Rasheed Wallace asked Dez Bryant if his mother was a whore.

Rasheed Wallace introduced Charles Manson to the song Helter Skelter.

Rasheed Wallace drafted Ryan Leaf in the first round for the Chargers in 1998.

Rasheed Wallace was the referee for the 1972 US-USSR olympic basketball game.

Rasheed Wallace performed all of Michael Jackson's plastic surgeries.

Rasheed Wallace told Cliff Clavin to bet it all on Jeopardy

Rasheed Wallace and not John Paulson picked the subprime mortgages that went into GS's Abacus CDO.

Rasheed Wallace suspended Kevin Garnett for Game 2 vs. Miami.

Rasheed Wallace gave Abraham Lincoln tickets to the Ford Theatre.

Rasheed Wallace killed Biggie and Tupac.

Rasheed Wallace gave Stephen Hawking ALS.

Rasheed Wallace broke Christopher Reeve's neck, not a fall from a horse.

Curiosity didn't kill the cat, Rasheed Wallace did.

Rasheed Wallace's hands fit perfectly into the bloody gloves from the OJ Simpson trial.

Rasheed Wallace was the real escort who slept with Eliot Spitzer.

Rasheed Wallace gave the green light to film Leonard Part 6.

Rasheed Wallace flew to New Orleans in 2005 and weakened the levees before hurricane Katrina.

Rasheed Wallace purposely went to africa and fucked an AIDS ridden chimpanzee to bring the disease to the US.

Rasheed Wallace shot JR.

Rasheed Wallace hid the WMDs in iraq

Rasheed Wallace told the designer of the Hindenburg to fuel it with hydrogen

Rasheed Wallace, and not an iceberg, sunk the Titanic with an errant 3 pointer

Rasheed Wallace wrote that incomprehensable ending to The Sopranos

Rasheed Wallace killed He Ping Ping.

Rasheed Wallace invented the credit swap default. 

Rasheed Wallace told Ted Kennedy one more drink was ok and that he could drive home from Chappaquiddick blind folded.

Rasheed Wallace shot the Sheriff and the Deputy.

Rasheed Wallace slept with Tiger Woods and he's the one Elin got so mad about.

Rasheed Wallace was the guy on the grassy knoll.

Rasheed Wallace flew the Enola Gay.

Rasheed Wallace killed Kenny.

Rasheed Wallace went back to the Middle Ages and infected rats with the bubonic plague.

Rasheed Wallace came up with the idea for Menudo.

Rasheed Wallace started a cattle farm just to antoganize the cows and thus create mad cow disease.

Rasheed Wallace stole the cookies from the cookie jar.